Category: Survivor Stories

When Kelly* woke up to an acquaintance sexually assaulting her after a night out with friends, she thought the worst had already happened. She sought medical attention, reported the attack to law enforcement and reached out to Shelter House to work with an advocate and begin healing. What Kelly didn’t know was that her attacker would become her stalker.

The man would drive by Kelly’s house at all hours and show up at her job – she worked in retail. When she tried to resume a normal life and go out with friends, he always seemed to show up. Kelly told her advocate who then worked with her and legal services to get a judge to sign a six-month sexual violence injunction. Once the injunction was granted, Kelly was able to breathe a little easier.

The day after the injunction expired, Kelly’s attacker once again made his presence known. He would watch her at work and follow her wherever she drove. While awaiting another court date, this time for a stalking injunction, Kelly took the advice of her Shelter House advocate and had security escort her to and from her car at work and drove to well lit places with security cameras when she was followed. Law enforcement was able to pull footage from the cameras proving he had stalked her. The evidence also helped Kelly get the stalking injunction and eventually led to the military confining her attacker to the base where he was stationed at the time.

With the help of her advocate and a self-defense class offered by the Okaloosa County Sheriff’s Office, Kelly is feeling safe and confident again.

During a primary prevention course with teens, a Shelter House advocate opened discussion about gift giving. Jacob*, a middle schooler, shared that his girlfriend yelled at him for not getting her a more expensive gift when he gave her a necklace purchased with his own money. Michael*, a high schooler in the group, spoke up and said, “That sounds just like one of the scenarios we talked about. Your girlfriend is abusive and you should break up with her.” Jacob said he tried but the girl wouldn’t let him.

The Shelter House advocate spoke with Jacob and made a safety plan for his breakup. Michael continued his support by offering to sit with Jacob when he made the phone call to officially break up.

This situation demonstrates how important these teen dating violence support groups and violence prevention education are. They create a safe space where teens can connect, share experiences and help each other.

Jane* first came to Shelter House in 2008 and utilized Outreach services. Her husband of two years was physically and emotionally abusive. When he went to prison, Jane stopped using our services. Two years later, she called the hotline looking to get out of another abusive relationship. This time, Jane entered our emergency shelter then continued with Outreach services.

Between her two abusers, Jane’s credit had been destroyed. Some of the apartment complexes where she had lived would not allow her to live there because of all the domestic violence disturbances that had happened in her home. These factors led Jane to live with roommates. In 2014, her roommate sexually assaulted her. Jane returned to shelter and eventually secured a spot in one of our Transitional Housing apartments.

That was nine months ago. In that time, Jane has worked to build a good rapport with the property managers so she can take over the lease in her own name once her time in the Transitional Program comes to an end. She has also used knowledge gained in Shelter House’s economic empowerment program to set goals for herself. She started budgeting and participated in the IDA program to work toward buying a car. She had been relying on her bike, coworkers and public transportation to get to work and back. This practice put her safety at risk once again.

Within five months of setting the goal and working the program, Jane bought her own car! She is enjoying her new found independence and the security of owning a car. Jane isn’t stopping there. Her next goal is to rebuild her credit and restart her own cleaning business.

Lena* made plans to file taxes and claim her two children as dependents until her abuser told her that she couldn’t even file taxes. He tried to convince her that she had not earned enough last year and said he would claim the children when he filed.

Lena was already working with an advocate at Shelter House on domestic violence issues. When she opened up about her tax woes, her advocate talked to her about financial abuse. They discussed Lena’s options. Since she had worked and received a W2, she could file taxes and claim her children as dependents. The advocate helped Lena research tax topics and found tax preparers Lena could use.

With her new knowledge, Lena decided to file her taxes. Her abuser told her she was stupid and wouldn’t get anything back. He was wrong. Not only did Lena receive a refund, it was large enough that she opened her own savings account. Lena is gaining confidence as she learns more about taxes and saving money.

cheap levitra www.manilaautorepair.com Anna*is a domestic violence survivor with four children, two of which have medical conditions that require hospitalization from time to time. She opened up to her advocate about her financial struggles. The two sat down and analyzed Anna’s income and expenses and made plans to save money. They discussed planning grocery shopping trips by making a list, looking at sale papers, using coupons and downloading savings apps. The advocate also reminded Anna she could reduce her grocery spending by utilizing the food pantry at Shelter House and other community pantries. These strategies and sticking to a budget freed up more money for Anna to pay rent, medical expenses and other bills.

Anna faced an additional challenge with her job. The company was in financial distress and wasn’t paying her full salary. This posed a real problem because Anna’s children attended the daycare where she was employed. The advocate talked to Anna about employment options and provided her with referrals. Anna was able to find another job that provided services for her children. Now that she is being fully compensated, Anna edited her budget and is getting back on track.

Working with her advocate, Anna is staying on budget and is meeting her expenses on her car, rent and medical expenses. Her willingness to put in the work has empowered her and set her up for success.